Nothing says “perfect match” like a lying politician and a Fox News correspondent—an entertainment network notorious for pushing falsehoods as if they were gospel.
This union is less about romance and more about mutual reinforcement:
A lawmaker who’s made compromise and subversion of truth his brand
A correspondent who profits from delivering propaganda
You’ve got Brian Fitzpatrick, a man who parades as a principled moderate—yet toes the party line even when it shreds the social safety net—and now he’s officially engaged to Jacqui Heinrich, the White House reporter for Fox News. Yes, that Fox News—the same network recently criticized by John Oliver as “the largest misinformation network in America.”
Their lavender-field proposal is dripping with irony. While their audience is fed fairy tales, real Americans are overdosing, dying from toxic water, and wondering where their democracy went.
This wedding should come with a trigger warning: Caution: Conflicts of interest ahead.
She covers the White House, and he votes on its checks and balances.
She crafts narratives; he crafts legislation.
And together, they’re a PR dream team for a party that thrives on spin and deception.
Let’s be frank: this isn’t love. It’s signaling—a televised statement that truth doesn’t matter, as long as the optics are just right.
Here’s to a marriage built on mutual respect—for spin, spectacle, and alternative facts.